Rectal intrusion diverted

Do you sometimes feel that someone, somewhere, always has their finger up your 'boo-tay' and is attempting to control your every move like a finger puppet?

(FYI, drawing that little hand image there was quite an enjoyable task in MS PowerPoint.  Give it a try sometime, but be forewarned that if you are not so artistically inclined, lock the gun up before starting...)

This delightful day consisted of a series of unfortunate decisions made by those who like to think of themselves as people in 'control' of our business operations.  Between those ludicrous decisions also occurred a gamut of other imbecilic situations such as a team building exercise gone wrong, a testosterone filled 'my thing is bigger than your thing' fight, and a bra strap mishap.  The typical day.... in other words....

So back to the finger prodding....

The people attempting to explore my end-trails are HR, Accounting, and Operation Support.  Between those three groups and all their rules inflicted upon us innocent employees, this company could no doubt serve as the next world renowned rectal 'We'll do you deep and right' clinic. They want you to use a certain format for an open text field (why make it open text if its so controlled??), they want 4 approvals for a trip claim when you got approval to go on the stinking trip before you purchased the ticket,  and they want to assume what people like with the hopes that they are themselves 'in touch' with employee needs rather than just ask them what they like, and the list goes on and on.

What did I do to resolve the problems?   In a nutshell I told my boss he needed to say 'do it' to them so they would ignore their regulations (just this once....), I told HR that I will wash my hands clean of my volunteer work to pick up their slack until they start putting the employees as their true priority, and the rest I decided to separate myself from to let them feel the pain of self reliance.

In the end... when they started to insert the pointer finger, they were met by something too tight to breach.

On the other events....A puma fixed my twisted bra strap....and the testosterone spat dude got out with only a broken collar bone and losing his job.  I suppose that's a win, win, win for him (crazy men folk .... : )

"Could you write a note for my wife to say that my head it not up there?" ~ Rectal exam patient's request to doctor