Outward Beauty - per men

Through experience and some web research, here is what I have determined to be the top 4 outward qualities that men admire most. By NO means am I saying that these are most important, however its not like its something we can or should ignore.  Anywho, here they are!

#1 - Hair

There is nothing that can beat a shiny, healthy head of hair.  It can be curly or straight, short or long, highlighted or natural, but regardless of the do that you drape your coif will grab the attention.  "The power is in the follicle!" Ok, maybe no 'power' is really involved, but your protein strands grab and keep the attention of many men.  Online sources say that 60% of a man's attention is on your hair and 75% of those will ignore your other 'flaws' if you have gorgeous flowing flocks.  So ladies… if you want attention, don’t skimp on the conditioning treatment… and if you don’t want  it then go for the bun, a hat, or the full on scarf (like the pretty lady in the foto... ).  But be forewarned... if you cover your hair under a hat, it might be even more of a temptation for the dude to see what you have hidden!  

#2 - Lips

Guys want to be funny, fun, and fascinating.  How do they know they have landed high on your score for them?  By looking at your SMILE and LAUGH shown on your LIPS!  So what gathers more attention to that source of good and evil (depending on what comes out of your smackers could cause one or the other)?  Lipstick.  Studies show that you get 6.7 seconds of attention if you are wearing pink lipstick and 7.3 seconds of attention if you are wearing red lipstick.  So how much attention do I get if I wear my purple or brown tones??? Study is lacking…..

#3 - Physical Fitness

We are not talking track star here, but at least having the ability to distinguish between flub and fantastic.  Some curves are good, but whether you have them naturally or not, is not as important as being healthy.  Why?  Because healthy = procreation = stability = longevity.  For the true and genuine relationship hunting man… these are the keys to success.  Ya, they say they want someone who is ‘hot’ but that phrase is just man-talk for healthy.

#4 - Good Hygiene

Imagine a woman who is fit as a fiddle, has flowing blonde hair, cute red lips…. And smells like a rotten fish carcass.  No matter if you have him all the money in the world, he is not going to want to get close to her because she is SMELL-E!!!  I almost wanted to put this item at the top of the list, but I would like to think that it is so rare to have a woman neglect her bodily stank that I positioned it at the bottom of my list.  To put it simply… wash your pits, brush your teeth, and mind your general ‘secretion’ levels to be sure you aren’t driving that perfect (80% perfect at least) man away from the paradise that is you.

Beauty is the bait which with delight allures man to enlarge his kind. - Socrates

'Old' is Relative

Pleasant old guy, isn't he.

We say "Yes, old man" to our fathers when they ask of us an action, even though they may be in their 40s or early 50s and not necessarily decrepit.  An 'old friend' might be a young girl barely having reached a spry 25 years.  A kindergarten child would call another boy who is of age 10 "old" and be shy with them because of their perceived abundance of knowledge gained in the additional 2 years experience on the playground.

Here is my hypothesis as to why these seemingly unclear understandings of 'old' occur...What we call 'Old' is relative only to what we are comparing them/it to as well as in the degradation of capability or quality that that thing/person can provide . Let's me explain...

Old (in the aged perspective) - The first image that comes to mind when I think of an 'old person' is a guy just like what is in the photo above.  Wrinkled, worn, gray, energy deprived.... having lived a life full of struggle and pressure, the worry lines having been deeply engraved into the spirit of his body. Another individual's mental image of a person who is old however may be a woman aged to 20 .. or 80 because they themselves are quite a lot younger or older than I . In a nutshell, the age of the individual who is being asked of their opinion will be the dictating factor for the age that they would term 'old'. (That was the simple part)

Old (in the capability or quality perspective) -  An item purchased (inanimate) will be termed 'old' after it is used for some time... based on the frequency of use or if it degrades on its own (biological). However in terms of human capability, a person at age 50/60/70 years can be equally functional compared to a human at the age of 30.  In addition, one who has lived many years probably has determined, through making his/her own mistakes, which errors to avoid.  This makes them able to complete a job better and with more skill than a younger person.  In this regard the subtly implied message of 'old'  being a negative attribute is quite incorrect.  "With age comes wisdom" as someone said, I completely agree with that and would like to tweak the line to "With age comes wisdom, patience, and peace".  

What lesson to learn from this?

If one is going to judge another person (which I advise against doing in the first place), do so based on the actions of that person, rather than upon their appearance.  The worth of an individual, in addition to their divinely inspired purpose, lies just as much in their POTENTIAL for positive action that could add quality to the human existence, as well as in what they have acted upon in the PAST.  This potential for good remains until an individual is lost(dies) AND IS FORGOTTEN...forgotten mentioned with emphasis because even after a person passes away, their impact may continue to be beneficial in the memory of others, writings left behind, and physical relics to be discovered.  It is only when a person's actions are forgotten, or impact on that which physically exists is no longer in use, that they can no longer provide benefit to a society. Nutshell: 'Old' is only bad when it can provide zero benefit.  Zero benefits is only reached when all that exists is gone. At that point... no one will care because no one will be here....

As the old men we still remember, the old women we still admire, and the old junk we still play with...be nice to the old!

Do not regret growing older.  It is a privilege denied to many. ~Author Unknown

Anyone, Anytime

Anything can happen at any time to anyone.  Read that again...

ANYTHING.... can happen at   ANYTIME... to ANYONE.

Let it sink in your mind and heart... Anyone (including you).

Today a coworker of mine called and said he would be out for the rest of day day as his wife and children were in a side impact car accident.  They were making a left turn at a green light and a car impacted them from the opposite lane.  The children were crying, everyone's backs and necks were hurting, the wife shaken and worried for her family and feeling guilty for she was behind the wheel.  Husband in shock as his family could have been no more....

The person driving the other vehicle did not stop, but rather sped away to escape the scene of the accident.  In an act of mercy and heroism, the car behind the one struck chased after the perpetrator at full speed with the intent to stop him or at least get the license plate information.  The perpetrator never stopped, but partial tag information was retrieved.  The police showed up, documented everything, and the family returned home to rest and contemplate seeking medical review.

It happened to her.  It happened to him.  It happened to his neighbor. It happened to her brother.  It happened to his uncle.  It happened to her daughter.  Things happen that harm or kill someone every day and it is only a matter of time until something... SOMETHING... will happen to you or to the ones who are dear to you.  It is absolutely unavoidable that harm will befall you at some point in your life.  In preparation for the inevitable, one should do the following:

1) Follow and ACT upon the inclinations of the heart and spirit
2) Maintain the best relations with your family and friends
3) Turn any grudges into acts of kindness
4) Ask for forgiveness from those whom you have wronged
5) Tell the ones you love that you love and are thankful for them
6) Do your best efforts always so you have no regrets
7) Be there for those in need so you are cared for when in need
8) Have your will updated yearly

The point I am trying to make is to not try to PREVENT a harm from befalling you (it will happen anyway), but to advise you to be sure you are LIVING a life that at its end you are content and pleased with how you utilized it.

My best wishes and kindest thoughts go out to the families of those who are struggling.

On no soul does God place a burden greater than it can bear. ~God


PS: I had a dream in the early morning about being in a car accident.  It was with someone I worked with. I need to heed my dreams more often...
  

For You OR For Them

Yawn....time to start the day.

What to wear today? There's a lot to choose from...pants, skirt, jeans, leggings, shorts...For the top.. 'Is it cool today?' nope.. short sleeves, sleeveless, tube top, tank???? How to choose?

So you pick out a tank top with a short sleeve cardigan and some jeans that make your butt look great, and some high heels with straps around the ankle.  Things to look forward to by the end of the day: Cold hands, pressure marks from the tight jeans on the hip, pain in the lower back, and 4 blisters located on various toes and ankles.

Why did you choose the collection of torture devices to wear on your body? Because you want THEM to think you look good/hot/attractive/feminine/sexy.  Women spend hours a day and thousands of dollars a year to attract men and battle other women in desirability.  What we have succeeded in by this effort is turning all women into joints/blunts. Yes, you heard me right.  We are tightly wrapped contraband that is passed around to every man in the area until we are reduced to a fraction of our original selves and tossed out as soon as we don't provide any further pleasure to men.

It has been ingrained into our ripe, innocent brains from the time we were born to be 'pretty' and that the 'no pain, no gain' route is the only way to live and succeed. Its turned out to be true too, this advice from mom and dad, that you have to be attractive to get ahead in this world... Shorter skirt = more pay. Sexy hair = powerful husband. Fit body = attractive boyfriend.  So WHERE in your decision making comes your own comfort?

Here is a second scenario... You wake up in the morning, slide on your favorite 5 year old baggy jeans and a t-shirt that you bought for $3, put your hair in a pony tail, and apply some lotion to your blemish free face (no makeup.. that's right...). DONE... Yup, that's it, simple and breathable day on its way... 'Order up'! We have these days now ladies.. when we are fending off a cold and no one is coming over to visit.  Those days we spend in our 'natural' condition of comfort and cleanliness, sighing in realization that there is no need to guard our derrière from a 'daring air' reveal.  So why don't we do this every day?

Answer: Men rule our closets because we let them.

It is in our DNA to be nurturing beings, caretakers, and mothers.  We want to see pleasant smiles on the faces of pleased men. When do men smile the most?  When they see a sexy figure.  We made ourselves 'hot' to get those smiles because unfortunately we have not demanded that they respect us for our hearts and minds wrapped comfortably inside a jump suit.

Challenge to Sisters!  I implore you to wear your size L shirts and jeans that don't show every nook and cranny of the 'grand canyon' and be comfortable for 7 days straight... only 7 days.  After your feet have healed, your face has cleared up, and you look years younger having been able sleep an extra 45 minutes per day...you will NEVER want to return to the old 'joint' that you were. Start today!

"If you want to be respected by others the great thing is to respect yourself.  Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you." ~Fyodor Dostoyevski

Getting Your Zzzzz's

What do you do every single day and never get tired of doing?  Sleep.


Everything alive requires some sort of sleep or resting period in order to function properly.  How much sleep is required each day for each of us varies with age and with activity levels, but there are some standards for just how much 'shut eye' we are advised to get to prolong our lives and make the best of our conscious hours.


Why should we care about how much sleep we get?  W.Christopher Winter, M.D., a board-certified sleep-medicine specialist and medical director of the Sleep Medicine Center at Martha Jefferson Hospital in Charlottesville, Virginia, says that if your sleep cycles are lacking, that "Changes in blood pressure, heart rate, hormones, glucose metabolism, temperature regulation, and appetite can be seen quite quickly. The sleepless individual could get catabolism—that is, an increased metabolic rate and protein breakdown—and susceptibility to disease from a weakened immune system." [Yikes...] 


What he and many other medical professionals in the field of sleep say people who sleep between 6.5 and 7.5 hours a night live the longest. Is more better?  NO.  Surprisingly, those who sleep 8 hours or more don't live as long! (Keep that in mind oh  you 2PM wakers...) And if you get less than 6 hours you won't live as long either.  There is just as much risk associated with sleeping too long as sleeping too short and if you sleep longer than 8.5 hours its worse than sleeping less than 5!! 


Wow, am I glad that I get on average about 6.5 hours of sleep a night... just enough to make the best out of my waking hours and enough to live long. So what's up with always being told that at least 8 hours of sleep per night is ideal??? Where did these people get their facts from! I feel so robbed of time, I want a do over!


Ok, so enough of my raving.  There is also a sleep method called 'Uberman' or something that says the most ideal sleep and conscious functioning comes from having 6 20-minute naps per day every 4 hours.  The results of those who participate are so varied though that I would not bank on this method.  I flash back to the movie 'The Machinist' where Trevor Reznik (played by Christian Bale) is the perfect example of what you would morph into as a member of the waking dead on Uberman. Plus this doesn't work well for the majority of us who have a professional life and have a family to manage.


I am going to stick to whatever my body asks for.  Now, if my body is asking for more awake time to be tickled with thoughts or otherwise, bet your boot that I am not going to sleep instead!  I think of my balance of sleep and wake time as a negotiation with a sleep bank....you take a loan of 2 hours one day, then pay back that 2 hours later on in the week.  Six hours a day (42 a week) can easily be balanced by Monday morning.  The nutshell of my point here is sleep well whenever you do sleep, hopefully with your SigO next to you, but also take advantage of the daylight while you can.


The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. ~Charles Caleb Colton

Keep it Clean

Dust, germs, bugs, and messes have been in existence since the dawn of creation.  Its a never ending battle to keep uncleanliness at bay in our homes, yards, and communities.. a battle that we have spent millions (if not billions) of dollars doing.  Think about it, how many times do you wash your hands in a day to get them clean, vacuum your house, wipe the kitchen counter, tidy up your room?  This is all the effort to maintain a 'civilized' environment.

Personally, I get a thrill from cleaning up my home and seeing the 'before and after' of the effort.  It may sound crazy, but after I vacuum I like to just lay down on the carpet and feel its softness before a cat comes by and dispenses half of its body hair on that exact spot. The house smells better, feels better on the bare feet, and it energizes me to want to do some good ol' organization of closets or cabinets.  I have reorganized the structure of my closets at least 10 times in the last 2 years and I feel another one coming around the corner.  There is always a better way than now!!

Sharing the responsibilities of cleaning is where it gets really dirty though...the agreement.  I am 'lucky' now that I am the only person here to clean the house, so I know and can control the regularity and quality of the process.  But what happens when your significant other comes into the picture?  Not only should they share some of the responsibility of cleaning, but also there is the issue of knowing that they may be dirtying up the place more so than you do. Have any of you said "Honey, if i knew you were this messy, I would have reconsidered marrying you" ?  or at least thought it.... A good suggestion to those having that thought, is to sit down with him/her and see which chores they least mind doing and then assign ownership to them.  If both parties don't like a particular task, then take turns doing it and stick with what you agree.  When kids come into the picture, be sure they get their fair share of the work also.  On the quality aspect of the job, refer back to a previous post on trying harder than the previous day...

On a final note, its a good idea to gauge the cleanliness of your mate before taking the plunge into living together or into marriage.  You might have to be covert in your discovery of the true habits they have, which would require a surprise visit to their place, or a look under the seat of the car, to find what craziness might be lurking.  If you both are on the same page and have the same level of desire for the state of cleanliness in your home, things will be much more peaceful day to day when you live together.  If you aren't on the same page, then save up some money to spend on a cleaning lady...or rethink your relationship options.