Almost all previous attempts at having a license photo turn out well have miserably failed. In fact, I can describe the previous images quite accurately as "Gypsy queen", "Gorillas-gone-Wild", and "Axe Murderer". I assure you, I (normally) don't match any of these descriptions. It is also probably safe to assume that you all, ladies and gentleman, have had similar unfortunate circumstances with the system and can relate to my grumblings.
Why do we care about how the photo looks anyway? Its not like you use your photo ID that often, right? True, its not that often, but when you do... that photo can save you hundreds of dollars. I'll explain.
So you are speeding down the road, late for work because the spouse decided to leave your car's lights on and thus had to jolly up a jump start, and suddenly you hear the dreadful sound of police sirens. GREAT... they got me.... Happy Monday. While pulling to the side of the road you start a cranial calc of how much this experience will cost you unless you can flirt your way out of it...and then it hits you...
"DAMN! My DL photo! Now there his no way in hell I can bat my eyes enough to get out if this one when he is staring at a picture of a crack head... damn it..."
In the end you are slapped with a $160 fine and at least a week of embarrassment for the horrible photo he had to stare at for 10 minutes while he entered your information into his little patrol car PC. On the other side of the spectrum, if he had the gorgeous picture of an Angelina Jolie look-alike to stare at while the records were pulling up... he may give you just a warning. Blog topic point... made.
On a little side thought... I wonder if any cops keep a personal log of the ugliest photos they've encountered... or the hottest... I hope I am not on either of those lists... who knows what they do with them...
Anywho... just a few tips for your next Driver's License photo:
1) Don't smile really big. You will either look like a dummy or a ditz
2) Don't wear trendy clothes. In 2 years when you still hold the card the trend will be over and your good impression too will be over
3) Do keep your eyes open while waiting for the click (no blinking!). You know that lady won't give you a do-over even if they are only half open.
4) Do hold good posture or your neck will look like it a hippopotamus leg
5) Do wear makeup, but don't look like a drag queen
I have no fear of photography as long as it cannot be used in heaven and in hell. ~Edvard Munch
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